Top Famous Funny Quotes collections

By Mohi Uddin - 1 Comment
All of us want to have fun. Do you know why? Man cannot do live without fun. Many of our blog readers have ask me about fun and funny quotes and funny love quotes.

By regarding their queries I have create this categories, Funny quotes and funny love quotes and I have collect top funny love quotes of the world from various kinds of authors of the world. For collecting short funny love quotes, I have included funny friendship quotes, funny movie quotes, funny quotes and sayings and famous funny quotes.

Top Famous Funny Quotes collections

Before reading short funny love quotes, I want to discuss about fun.
Fun is the basic part of entertainment which is one of our basic needs. But what does this mean, exactly?

 

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.


_ Isaac Asimov



 
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
Photograph of Elayne Boosler.

_ ELAYNE BOOSLER



A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have.

_ Anonymous



 
“I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are.”

_ Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE



 
“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?”

_ Chris Rock



 
Accept who you are, unless you’re a serial killer.

_ Ellen Degeneres



 
You cry, I cry, …you laugh, I laugh…you jump off a cliff I laugh even harder!!

_ Anonymous



 
I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

_ Demetri Martin



 
"I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough."

_ Russell Brand



 
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

_ Ron White



 
Rose are red
Violets are blue
Vodka is cheaper
Than dinner for tow

Truer words have never been spoken

_ Anonymous



 
if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN

_ Anonymous



 

 
Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.

_ H.L. Mencken



 

 
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

_ Robert Benchley



 

 
Why are they called apartments if they are all stuck together?

_ Unknown



 
Why do people say “no offense” right before they’re about to offend you?

_ ANONYMOUS



 
When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31.

_ Anonymous



 
It’s all fun and games, until someone calls the cops. Then it’s a new game; hide and seek.

_ Unknown



 

 
“Writers don't get mad they get even in their novels.”

_ Candace C. Bowen



 
“Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.”

_ Lemony Snicket



 

 

"My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on."


_ Joan Rivers



 
Eagles may soar in the clouds, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.

_ Attributed to both Jason Hutchison and John Benfield



 
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

_ Frank Sinatra



 

 
There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world, and the worst of it is that half of them are true.

_ Winston Churchill



 
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

_ Benjamin Franklin



 

 
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.

_ Unknown



 

 
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

_ GREG KING



 

 
The decision to decide is a decision in itself.

_ Full House



 
It’s useless to hold a person to anything they say when they are in love, drunk, or running for office.

_ Shirley MacLaine



 
“Slap-stick comedy is really funny, unless you're the one getting slapped with the stick.”

_ Carroll Bryant



 
“If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?”

_ Jerry Seinfeld



 

 
It isn't the ups and downs that make life difficult; it's the jerks.

_ Charles "Charlie" Chaplin



 
"If you can stay in love for more than two years, you're on something."

_ Fran Lebowitz



 

 
Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.

_ George Ade



 

 
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.

_ Will Rogers



 

 
"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures."

_ George W. Bush



 

 
I haven't been slutty very often. And because of the paparazzi, I have a built-in defense mechanism. I just wouldn't go around being a slut.

_ Kylie Minogue



 

 
If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.

_ Unknown



Dear friends, I have tried to collect the best funny short quotes for you. Hope you will enjoy this quotes.

Oh yes don’t forget to share this to your friends on facebook, twitter and google plus

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  1. […] their queries I have create this categories, Funny quotes and funny love quotes and I have collect top funny love quotes of the world from various kinds of authors of the world. For collecting famous short funny love […]

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